Thursday, April 29, 2010

Bunches of Babies

This is a kind of creepy vintage German Postcard.  Why would anyone want to send a postcard of babies sitting on the pot??  I'm so confused.  The toddler on the left is smaller than the babies...what happened here?  Radioactive waste perhaps?  And how about the happy dancing egg?  The baby in the center somewhat resembles George W. Bush I think.  Come on folks, especially you Scott...I'm looking for comments!


  1. I can't imagine the work someone put into this or why. You got a compilation of separate photos arranged together combined with drawn parts and color added to enhance...whatever it's enhancing.

    Let's start with the chick on the left. She used to be in Coke commercials, talking in Robert DeNiro's voice, I think. She's pissed since she's the only one who had to wear pants on the whole postcard, and frankly, I'd be irked too.

    Clockwise is what appears to be a baby emerging from an egg. However, closer inspection reveals that it is in fact Jonathan Winters emerging from an egg, which anyone who ever watched "Mork & Mindy" knows is how Jonathan Winters was born.

    The kid with the trumpet, well you can see his shirt's unbuttoned down too far and he's pointing menacingly at us. He is Italian. That's not a trumpet, it's his obnoxiously large bull-horn necklace. His pointing says, "You did'n see nuttin', you got dat?" because all Italians are in the mafia. These are also his first words.

    The kid with the chamber pot on his head...we can deduce that since this IS a German postcard, this child is inventing the schiess genre of pornography.

    To the right we see a hospital patient who is also a sea captain trying to read a map and point out the North Star. Unfortunately, he's also pointing out the moon.

    Now we come to our foreground fellows, whom I call The Pot Lot. The toys indicate that losing at Jenga makes one have to crap, as do miniature bowling and wooden (or possibly chocolate) rabbits. The two end boys are clearly miserable, and only the middle boy seems to be immensely enjoying his movement. He probably had one of those good solid fat ones that strokes a man's prostate on the way out. the other two have painful, searing diarrhea caused by eating the only food available to children back then: fresh eggs and vegetables, milk, non-frozen meats, cheeses, lemonade made from actual lemons, home-cooked breads and other baked goods, and chemical-free fruits taken fresh from the trees. Today's fast foods, mass-produced candies and donuts, frozen veggies, processed meat-stuffs, twinkies, and the chemical compounds that make up soft drinks, all full of bowel-lubricating trans-fats and solvents to encourage quicker movement of diarrhea through the system, would not be invented for another 40 years! Poor kids.

    And so, after analysis, we can clearly see that the point of this post card is that we're being warned (Ithalian kid) that we must take care of our fragile planet (the egg) because no one else out in the universe cares (the moon), and if we don't, we'll end up having a painful reckoning with maybe a good time in the middle (The Pot Lot), but will ultimately end up covered in our own shit (you-know-who). The pissed little girl is just a pissed little girl, she's got nothing to do with the point. No wait, maybe she represents the children of earth, who will inherit this awful mess, and that's why she looks so pissed. Yeah, that works.

  2. That's it exactly! In a nutshell, or is it an eggshell?? Thanks Scott!